Wikivoyage:Joke articles/Goudy phrasebook

Goudy is a creole language spoken by about 1 million of the citizens of San Serriffe. It's based on English and Portuguese, strewn across the framework of the native Flong tongue, with borrowed terms from Malay, Arabic, and Spanish.

Basics

 * Hello. : eta. (ay-TAH)
 * Hello. (formal) : etaoin shrdlu. (ay-TAH-oh-WEEN SHIR-dloo)
 * How are you? : Dlrh mt? ( Duh-LUR-'h MOT)
 * Fine, thank you. : Kxz, amt n'nza. (COW-zee uh-MOT ninja (or nenja) )
 * What is your name? : Dwnee amt shivlr? ( Duh-WEEN-a uh-MOT shshv-LUR)
 * My name is ______ . :  Kmbu dwnee ______ . (  KIM-boh duh-WEEN-a _____ .)
 * Nice to meet you. : Kxzppl amt ff'foq. (COW-zee-PERL uh-MOT fuh-FUH-folk. )
 * Please. : Lxcgxc . ( LOO-see-GOO-see)
 * Thank you. : Znklpeoa . (JING-cull-pew )
 * You're welcome. : Lxcgxc. (LOO-see-GOO-see)
 * Yes. : Np . ( Nip)
 * No. : Ztm . ( Jeh-TAM)
 * Excuse me. (getting attention) : Zo!. ( HAY)
 * Excuse me. (begging pardon) : Lr. (HAY )
 * I'm sorry. : Glrmt anyx. (Guh-LUR-mot un-MOO )
 * Goodbye : . ( )
 * Goodbye (informal) : . ( )
 * I can't speak name of language [well]. : [ ]. ( [ ])
 * Do you speak English? : ? ( ?)
 * Is there someone here who speaks English? : ? ( ?)
 * Help! : ! ( !)
 * Look out! : ! ( !)
 * Good morning. : . ( )
 * Good evening. : . ( )
 * Good night. : . ( )
 * Good night (to sleep) : . ( )
 * I don't understand. : . ( )
 * Where is the toilet? : ? ( ?)

Problems

 * Leave me alone. : Leave me alone. (...)
 * Don't touch me! : Don't touch me! (...)
 * I'll call the police. : I'll call the police. (...)
 * Police! : Police! (...)
 * Stop! Thief! : Stop! Thief! (...)
 * I need your help. : I need your help. (...)
 * It's an emergency. : It's an emergency. (...)
 * I'm lost. : I'm lost. (...)
 * I lost my bag. : Lorem ipsum. (LOH-rehm EEP-soom)
 * I lost my wallet. : I lost my wallet. (...)
 * I'm sick. : I'm sick. (...)
 * I've been injured. : I've been injured. (...)
 * I need a doctor. : I need a doctor. (..)
 * Can I use your phone? : Can I use your phone? (...)

Numbers

 * 1 : En (End)
 * 2 : At (At)
 * 3 : Nmba (NUM-baa)
 * 4 : Sole (SOO-laa)
 * 5 : Prcet (per-CENT)
 * 6 : Kre (KA-ree)
 * 7 : An (And)
 * 8 : Astrck (As-ter-ick)
 * 9 : Brake (BRACK-et)
 * 10 : Ins (In-ser)
 * 11 : Ins En (...)
 * 12 : Ins At (...)
 * 13 : Ins Nmba (...)
 * 14 : Ins Sole (...)
 * 15 : Ins Prcet (...)
 * 16 : Ins Kre (...)
 * 17 : Ins An (...)
 * 18 : Ins Astrck (...)
 * 19 : Ins Brake (...)
 * 20 : At Ins (...)
 * 21 : At Ins En (...)
 * 22 : At Ins At (...)
 * 23 : At Ins Nmba (...)
 * 30 : Nmba Ins (...)
 * 40 : Sole Ins (...)
 * 50 : Prcet Ins (...)
 * 60 : Kre Ins (...)
 * 70 : An Ins (...)
 * 80 : Astrck Ins (...)
 * 90 : Brake Ins (...)
 * 100 : Tlde (TILL-dee)
 * 200 : At Tlde (...)
 * 300 : Nmba Tlde (...)
 * 1000 : Grav (GRAVE)
 * 2000 : At Grav (...)
 * 1,000,000 : Tb (tab)
 * 1,000,000,000 : Grav Tb ("...")
 * 1,000,000,000,000 : Cps ("caps")
 * number _____ (train, bus, etc.) : Nmlk _____ (NUM-lock)
 * half : Dl At (DEL at)
 * less : Dlup (DEL-up)
 * more : Dldn (Del-down)

Time

 * now : now (...)
 * later : later (...)
 * before : before (...)
 * morning : morning (...)
 * afternoon : afternoon (...)
 * evening : evening (...)
 * night : night (...)

Clock time

 * one o'clock AM : En ji Startp (end jie start-up)
 * two o'clock AM : At ji Startp (at jie start-up)
 * noon : noon (...)
 * one o'clock PM : En ji shtdn (end jie shut-down)
 * two o'clock PM : At ji shtdn(at jie shut-down)
 * midnight : midnight (...)

Duration

 * _____ minute(s) : _____ minute(s) (...)
 * _____ hour(s) : _____ hour(s) (...)
 * _____ day(s) : _____ day(s) (...)
 * _____ week(s) : _____ week(s) (...)
 * _____ month(s) : _____ month(s) (...)
 * _____ year(s) : _____ year(s) (...)

Days

 * today : today (...)
 * yesterday : yesterday (...)
 * tomorrow : tomorrow (...)
 * this week : this week (...)
 * last week : last week (...)
 * next week : next week (...)


 * Sunday : Sunday (...)
 * Monday : Monday (...)
 * Tuesday : Tuesday (...)
 * Wednesday : Wednesday (...)
 * Thursday : Thursday (...)
 * Friday : Friday (...)
 * Saturday : Saturday (...)

Months
''If speakers of the language commonly use a calendar other than the Gregorian, explain it here and list its months. See Hebrew phrasebook for an example.''


 * January : January (...)
 * February : February (...)
 * March : March (...)
 * April : April (...)
 * May : May (...)
 * June : June (...)
 * July : July (...)
 * August : August (...)
 * September : September (...)
 * October : October (...)
 * November : November (...)
 * December : December (...)

Writing time and date
Give some examples how to write clock times and dates if it differs from English.

Colors

 * black : oo-oo-oo (OO-OO-OO)
 * white : f'f'f'f'f'f (fuh-fuh-FUH-fuh-fuh-FUH)
 * gray : ady-ady-ady (AY-dee-AY-dee-AY-dee)
 * red : f'foo-oo (fuh-FOO-oo)
 * blue : oo-ooff (OO-oof)
 * yellow : f'f'f'foo (fuh-fuh-fuh-FOO)
 * green : oof-foo (OOF-foo)
 * orange : f'fa-keen-yen (fuh-FAH-keen-yen)
 * purple : oatmeal-ointment (OHT-meel-OYN-men)
 * brown : aseenkdoysh-aduasha (ah-SEENK-doysh-ah-doo-AHSH-ah)

Bus and train

 * How much is a ticket to _____? : How much is a ticket to _____? (...)
 * One ticket to _____, please. : One ticket to _____, please. (...)
 * Where does this train/bus go? : Where does this train/bus go? (...)
 * Where is the train/bus to _____? : Where is the train/bus to _____? (...)
 * Does this train/bus stop in _____? : Does this train/bus stop in _____? (...)
 * When does the train/bus for _____ leave? : When does the train/bus for _____ leave? (...)
 * When will this train/bus arrive in _____? : When will this bus arrive in _____? (...)

Directions

 * How do I get to _____ ? : How do I get to _____ ? (...)
 * ...the train station? : ...the train station? (...)
 * ...the bus station? : ...the bus station? (...)
 * ...the airport? : ...the airport? (...)
 * ...downtown? : ...downtown? (...)
 * ...the youth hostel? : ...the youth hostel? (...)
 * ...the _____ hotel? : ...the _____ hotel? (...)
 * ...the American/Canadian/Australian/British consulate? : ...the American/Canadian/Australian/British consulate? (...)
 * Where are there a lot of... : Where are there a lot of... (...)
 * ...hotels? : ...hotels? (...)
 * ...restaurants? : ...restaurants? (...)
 * ...bars? : ...bars? (...)
 * ...sites to see? : ...sites to see? (...)
 * Can you show me on the map? : Can you show me on the map? (...)
 * street : street (...)
 * Turn left. : Your four. (...)
 * Turn right. : Your six. (...)
 * left : four (...)
 * right : six (...)
 * straight ahead : Your eight. (...)
 * towards the _____ : towards the _____ (...)
 * past the _____ : past the _____ (...)
 * before the _____ : before the _____ (...)
 * Watch for the _____. : Watch for the _____. (...)
 * intersection : intersection (...)
 * north : pad eight (...)
 * south : pad two (...)
 * east : pad six (...)
 * west : pad four (...)
 * uphill : peg'up (PAGE-up)
 * downhill : peg'dn (PAGE-dun)

Taxi
get to _____? (...)
 * Taxi! : Taxi! (...)
 * Take me to _____, please. : Take me to _____, please. (...)
 * How much does it cost to get to _____? : How much does it cost to
 * Take me there, please. : Take me there, please. (...)

Lodging

 * Do you have any rooms available? : Do you have any rooms available? (...)
 * How much is a room for one person/two people? : How much is a room for one person/two people? (...)
 * Does the room come with... : Does the room come with... (...)
 * ...bedsheets? : ...bedsheets? (...)
 * ...a roof? : ...a roof? (...)
 * ...a bathroom? : ...a bathroom? (...)
 * ...a telephone? : ...a telephone? (...)
 * ...a TV? : ...a TV? (...)
 * May I see the room first? : May I see the room first? (...)
 * Do you have anything quieter? : Do you have anything quieter? (...)
 * ...bigger? : ...bigger? (...)
 * ...cleaner? : ...cleaner? (...)
 * ...cheaper? : ...cheaper? (...)
 * OK, I'll take it. : OK, I'll take it. (...)
 * I will stay for _____ night(s). : I will stay for _____ night(s). (...)
 * Can you suggest another hotel? : Can you suggest another hotel? (...)
 * Do you have a safe? : Do you have a safe? (...)
 * ...lockers? : ...lockers? (...)
 * Is breakfast/supper included? : Is breakfast/supper included? (...)
 * What time is breakfast/supper? : What time is breakfast/supper? (...)
 * Please clean my room. : Please clean my room. (...)
 * Can you wake me at _____? | Can you wake me at _____? (...)
 * I want to check out. : I want to check out. (...)

Money

 * Do you accept American/Australian/Canadian dollars? : Do you accept American/Australian/Canadian dollars? (...)
 * Do you accept British pounds? : Do you accept British pounds? (...)
 * Do you accept credit cards? : Do you accept credit cards? (...)
 * Can you change money for me? : Can you change money for me? (...)
 * Where can I get money changed? : Where can I get money changed? (...)
 * Can you change a traveler's check for me? : Can you change a traveler's check for me? (...)
 * Where can I get a traveler's check changed? : Where can I get a traveler's check changed? (...)
 * What is the exchange rate? : What is the exchange rate? (...)
 * Where is an automatic teller machine (ATM)? : Where is an automatic teller machine (ATM)? (...)

Eating

 * A table for one person/two people, please. : A table for one person/two people, please. (...)
 * Can I look at the menu, please? : Can I look at the menu, please? (...)
 * Can I look in the kitchen? : Can I look in the kitchen? (...)
 * Is there a house specialty? : Is there a house specialty? (...)
 * Is there a local specialty? : Is there a local specialty? (...)
 * I'm a vegetarian. : I'm a vegetarian. (...)
 * I don't eat pork. : I don't eat pork. (...)
 * I don't eat beef. : I don't eat beef. (...)
 * I only eat kosher food. : I only eat kosher food. (...)
 * Can you make it "lite", please? (less oil/butter/lard) : Can you make it "lite", please? (...)
 * fixed-price meal : fixed-price meal (...)
 * a la carte : a la carte (...)
 * breakfast : breakfast (...)
 * lunch : lunch (...)
 * tea (meal) : tea (...)
 * supper : supper (...)
 * I want _____. : I want _____. (...)
 * I want a dish containing _____. : I want a dish containing _____. (...)
 * chicken : chicken (...)
 * beef : beef (...)
 * fish : fish (...)
 * ham : ham (...)
 * sausage : sausage (...)
 * cheese : cheese (...)
 * eggs : eggs (...)
 * salad : salad (...)
 * (fresh) vegetables : (fresh) vegetables (...)
 * (fresh) fruit : banana (BAH-NAH-nuh)
 * bread : bread (...)
 * toast : toast (...)
 * noodles : noodles (...)
 * rice : rice (...)
 * beans : beans (...)
 * May I have a glass of _____? : May I have a glass of _____? (...)
 * May I have a cup of _____? : May I have a cup of _____? (...)
 * May I have a bottle of _____? : May I have a bottle of _____? (...)
 * coffee : coffee (...)
 * tea (drink) : tea (...)
 * juice : juice (...)
 * (bubbly) water : water (...)
 * water : water (...)
 * beer : beer (...)
 * red/white wine : red/white wine (...)
 * May I have some _____? : May I have some _____? (...)
 * salt : salt (...)
 * black pepper : black pepper (...)
 * butter : butter (...)
 * Excuse me, waiter? (getting attention of server): Excuse me, waiter? (...)
 * I'm finished. : I'm finished. (...)
 * It was delicious. : It was delicious. (...)
 * Please clear the plates. : Please clear the plates. (...)
 * The check, please. : The check, please. (...)

Bars

 * Do you serve alcohol? : Do you serve alcohol? (...)
 * Is there table service? : Is there table service? (...)
 * A beer/two beers, please. : A beer/two beers, please. (...)
 * A glass of red/white wine, please. : A glass of red/white wine, please. (...)
 * A pint, please. : A pint, please. (...)
 * A bottle, please. : A bottle, please. (...)
 * _____ (hard liquor) and _____ (mixer), please. : _____ and _____, please. (...)
 * whiskey : whiskey (...)
 * vodka : vodka (...)
 * rum : rum (...)
 * water : water (...)
 * club soda : club soda (...)
 * tonic water : tonic water (...)
 * orange juice : orange juice (...)
 * Coke (soda) : Coke (...)
 * Do you have any bar snacks? : Do you have any bar snacks? (...)
 * One more, please. : One more, please. (...)
 * Another round, please. : Another round, please. (...)
 * When is closing time? : When is closing time? (...)

Shopping

 * Do you have this in my size? : Do you have this in my size? (...)
 * How much is this? : How much is this? (...)
 * That's too expensive. : That's too expensive. (...)
 * Would you take _____? : Would you take _____? (...)
 * expensive : expensive (...)
 * cheap : cheap (...)
 * I can't afford it. : I can't afford it. (...)
 * I don't want it. : I don't want it. (...)
 * You're cheating me. : You're cheating me. (...)
 * I'm not interested. : I'm not interested. (..)
 * OK, I'll take it. : OK, I'll take it. (...)
 * Can I have a bag? : Can I have a bag? (...)
 * Do you ship (overseas)? : Do you ship (overseas)? (...)
 * I need... : I need... (...)
 * ...toothpaste. : ...toothpaste. (...)
 * ...a toothbrush. : ...a toothbrush. (...)
 * ...tampons. : ...tampons. (...)
 * ...soap. : ...soap. (...)
 * ...shampoo. : ...shampoo. (...)
 * ...pain reliever. (e.g., aspirin or ibuprofen) : ...pain reliever. (...)
 * ...cold medicine. : ...cold medicine. (...)
 * ...stomach medicine. : ...stomach medicine. (...)
 * ...a razor. : ...a razor. (...)
 * ...an umbrella. : ...an umbrella. (...)
 * ...sunblock lotion. : ...sunblock lotion. (...)
 * ...a postcard. : ...a postcard. (...)
 * ...postage stamps. : ...postage stamps. (...)
 * ...batteries. : ...batteries. (...)
 * ...writing paper. : ...writing paper. (...)
 * ...a pen. : ...a pen. (...)
 * ...English-language books. : ...English-language books. (...)
 * ...English-language magazines. : ...English-language magazines. (...)
 * ...an English-language newspaper. : ...an English-language newspaper. (...)
 * ...an English-English dictionary. : ...an English-English dictionary. (...)

Driving

 * I want to rent a car. : I want to rent a car. (...)
 * Can I get insurance? : Can I get insurance? (...)
 * stop (on a street sign) : stop (...)
 * one way : one way (...)
 * yield : yield (...)
 * no parking : no parking (...)
 * speed limit : speed limit (...)
 * gas (petrol) station : gas station (...)
 * petrol : petrol (...)
 * diesel : diesel (...)

Authority

 * I haven't done anything wrong. : I haven't done anything wrong. (...)
 * It was a misunderstanding. : It was a misunderstanding. (...)
 * Where are you taking me? : Where are you taking me? (...)
 * Am I under arrest? : Am I under arrest? (...)
 * I am an American/Australian/British/Canadian citizen. : I am an American/Australian/British/Canadian citizen. (...)
 * I want to talk to the American/Australian/British/Canadian embassy/consulate. : I need to talk to the American/Australian/British/Canadian embassy/consulate. (...)
 * I want to talk to a lawyer. : I want to talk to a lawyer. (...)
 * Can I just pay a fine now? : Can I just pay a fine now? (...)

Learning more
This is where you'd give more information on learning the language, such as links to online courses or textbooks, or suggestions for in-person courses to take, or pointers to a dictionary or two.


 * How do you say _____ ? : How do you say _____ ? (...)
 * What is this/that called? : What is this/that called? (...)